All I Want
by Mika2345
Summary: A Skate Sarah/Kate fic. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Haven't been on here in a while. And I should update my other story soon! But anyway, here's a product of my not-so productive friday evening. So I hope you enjoy_

_Hope you enjoy._

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Boo.**_

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**Sarah's P.O.V**

After a day of shooting, I'm exhuasted. Not that I had to do much 'shooting' in this episode, but constantly running after Damian Lewis can be tiring. Don't get me wrong, I like working on the show, and I get along fine with everyone... it just sometimes lacks that 'buzz' that you sometimes get at the end of the day.

When I was on the L word, I got a buzz after every scene. Some more than others, but the show itself was generally more exciting, and if I'm being completely honest, I miss those guys, some more than others..but anyway, you get the point.

I changed into pyjama bottoms and a comfortable T. Suddenly the hotel bed looks very appealing, and I'm just about ready to fall asleep when I'm interrupted by three steady knocks at my door.

_Great_.

I flick the lightswitch up and craw out of bed, to the door,

"What do you wan-"

The person staring back at me was the last person I had expected to see at my hotel door. Or, at just, a door that I was opening in general.

"Quite the charmer aren't you Sarah?"

Suddenly feeling very self conscious, I laughed awkwardly and smiled,

"Oh you know me... Wow. Kate, what are you doing here?"

Or, what I'm really thinking: _Wow. Kate. Better late than never_.

She grins and I cling to the side of the door in case my knees give way.

"I'm here to try and convince you to get your butt over to Vancouver for a few weeks." She laughs, "Can I come in?"

"Sure, yeah.." She casually strolls in and takes a seat on the armchair next to the bed. Dressed in well worn jeans, white shirt, with her messy hair hidden under her rag-hat beanie. It was fair to say that she just looked damn sexy. And hell, she wasn't even trying, which just added another ridiculous amount of sexy to her already very sexy self..and that's a lot of sexy. But hey, I'm not complaining.

She noticed the ruffled bed clothes, and then looked back at me and my pj's, an apologetic look suddenly swept over her face.

"Aw man, I didn't wake you did I?"

I can't help but laugh, she's so very cute when she's worried.

"No, don't worry, I'm not that tired.."

She didn't look convinced. Then again, I was tired, and obviously a very bad liar.

She laughs to herself. I put my hands on my hips and raise my eyebrows.

"You are such a bad liar. I could come back in the morning if you like?"

"Shut up. Just come over here and say 'Hi' properly will you??"

Wait. Crud. Was that too obvious? Don't freeze. Be cool. Smile. Smile and be cool.

She chuckled and walked over to me, and wrapped her arms around me.

"Hi"

She whispers in my ear. I hug her tight. She smells great. No surprise there.

"Much better"

_Wow... Flirt much?_

She looks down at me and smiles,

"Good ...I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

Whoa, hold up, now it's like we're no longer hugging, but rather, holding each other.

_.. Do I look away? No don't do that, wait till she looks away! But she isn't looking away. Daamn, Sarah, quit looking so serious. Smile. Ah, no, not the flirty smile you weirdo! Shut up!_

As my mind argues with itself, my body decides to take control and steps back,

"You wanna drink?" I said, maybe too quickly.

"Sure, if you're having one"

She takes a seat back in the chair and does one of her shoelaces up. I go over to the over-priced minifridge in the corner and get out two beers.

"Nice one"

I sit back on the edge of the bed and clear my throat.

"So, yeah, Vancouver?"

"Yeah, we've started filming season six and all.." she took a swig from the bottle and continued, "and Ilene wanted to know, or, well, wanted me to see if there was anyway I could get you to come"

I clear my throat again and take a sip of my drink to stop myself from giggling out aloud.

_Oh come on, you're not that much of a lightweight, get your mind out of the gutter girl._

"-to be on the show again, I mean." She quickly adds.

I laugh out loud,

"Figures."

She smirks back at me,

"Smart-ass."

I bite my lip and take another sip.

"You know I'd love to. But, uh, unless you've figured out a way for me to be at two places at once, I don't know how I can, you know, since I'm in the middle of filming Life and all.."

"Oh really? Hm. Well I had _no_ idea.."

I scoffed at her sarcasm.

"You know what I mean.."

"Yeah, I know, but come on, you could come down for a week or something, you can't be needed on set twenty-four seven. You know you'd enjoy it. And plus, the fans would love it. They've been dying to see you come kick my- um, Shane's ass. You'd get to throw things at me again.." She grins, and I can't help but laugh.

I haven't quite realised until now how much I actually miss the show...

"-And you don't wanna disappoint your fans now Miss Shahi do you?"

I pretend to be shocked at her guilt tripping techniques,

"You can't say that!"

"Well. I just did."

"Kate. You know I miss working on the show with you guys, but I just can't find the time to travel up there and back, filmings too tight at the moment and with Ste-"

I stopped there. She's no longer joking around, but giving me that trademarked pout, telling me that she's serious.

"I managed to find time to travel down here to see _you_."

Yeouch. That one kinda stung. It wasnt that _they_ told her to see me, but that _she_ made the time time, to see, _ME_.

"Kate, gimme a break. Please. It's not as simple as that and you damn well know it."

"Do I? Look, I know you've comitted to 'Life' and everything but why do I get the feeling that sometimes you're-"

"I'm what?!" I stood up, seeming a bit more defensive than I planned.

"-that sometimes you're just using that as an excuse!"

She's was now also on her feet, giving me a look that almost passed as bitter and made my stomach turn.

"It's not as easy as that! We're not just talking about filming a few scenes. Are we?"

"We aren't?"

"No. We're talking about going back to how it was three years ago!"

She says nothing,

"And don't you tell me that it won't, because you know damn well that it will and-"

"And what's so wrong about that!? Huh??"

_Well. Got me there._

"Oh wait, no. Yeah, I remember, your precious Steve."

I stand there stunned, and after hearing what she's said, it seems like she is too. She shuts up and stares at the floor. I close my eyes, hoping the tears that have started to form will go away.

'It's wrong Kate because I can't trust myself with you!'

She's looks at me intently, her face softened.

'..And I hate it, cos sometimes I find myself hoping it'll never end." I carry on before she can think to interrupt me, "It's like I'm leading two separate lives, Kate. And no matter what I do, in the end someone will get hurt."

She says nothing

"You happy now??"

She looks at me,

"If you could choose-"

"Don't."

I look away. She grabs hold of my shoulders, and I turn to face her.

"No one else matters, okay? It's just you."

I stare at the floor, the tears running down my face now. She lifts my head up and wipes them away.

"What do YOU want?"

The lump in my throat gets bigger, and my stomach does cartwheels.

_Isn't it obvious?_

"You."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: This one took alot longer to write for some reason. But anyway. Let me know what you think.. Hope you enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Boo.**_

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**KM's P.O.V**

I'm standing in the snazzy elevator watching the numbers light up one by one, blocking out the tastefully clichéd elevator music.

Maybe volunteering to travel down here wasn't such a good idea. It's been such a long time since I'd seen her, I've caught glimpses of her walking down the street and at gigs, but nothing this... personal.

I feel like I'm going up to the top of a mountain, only to jump off it with a single parachute that may or may not work. Will she be happy to see me? Do I be professional and just talk to her about the show, or do I act un-professional about it. Is there such a thing as too un-professional? I know what I have to do, but then again I also know what I want to do, and the two don't really fit together.

Ugh. Headache.

The elevator bell rings as the doors open on the 13th floor. I walk along the magnolia coloured walls rehearsing what I'm going to say to her while looking out for her door at the same time.

"Hey, long time no see…Long time no see Sarah…What's up Sarah?...Surprise! Oof-" I trip on my shoelace and reach out to grab onto something to stop myself from falling, except there is nothing to grab onto, so instead I end up looking like a drunkard doing a disastrous rendition of the macarena. I quickly jump to my feet, and look around. I don't know whether I'm happier that no one was around to see it, or that it happened now, rather than in front of Sarah. I breathe in and out a couple of times, then kneel down to do up my lace. I get up and carry on walking down the corridor. My palms start to sweat, and I feel a bruise forming on my leg.

_Great._

I get to her door, 41A and now it seems I can't even remember how to knock on the door. One knock? Two..?

I'm lingering at the door and talking to myself looking like a madwoman.

"Hi… remember me? Ugh. Lame. Uh… I was passing by… was going for a walk and…Yeah right, like you just happened to walk to L.A from freakin' Vancouver. Fuckin' idiot!"

I hear movement from inside her room and my heart jumps in my chest.

_Crying out loud, just do it already._

I rearrange my hair – a nervous tendency that I can't seem to shake off- then take a deep breath as I knock on the door.

Before I could come up with what to say to her, the door opens.

"What do you wan-"

Wow.

She's cute when she's grouchy. Though, I'm starting to think, maybe calling first would've been a better idea.

"Quite the charmer aren't you Sarah?" I can't help but smile at her, hoping that my 'cool and collected' act will work.

She laughs awkwardly and blushes.  
_Awh.._

Pah. Like she has anything to blush about.

"Oh you know me... Wow. Kate, what are you doing here?"

I'm getting that tingly feeling just standing in front of her. You know? That feeling where you're excited and nervous at the same time, worrying about everything you're doing and saying, hoping that you aren't coming off as a complete schmuck?

Yeah, you know what I mean.

I grin to myself,

_Hi Sarah, I'm here because I haven't stop thinking about you the past three years and am using the show as an excuse just to see you… Surprise!_

Nah…That'd never work.

"I'm here to try and convince you to get your butt over to Vancouver for a few weeks." She laughs, "Can I come in?"

Good save. If I do say so myself.

"Sure, yeah..."

I walk in and look around her hotel room. Classy.

I take a seat in the armchair by the bed and notice that her bed covers and ruffled.

Shit. Does she have company?? I look back at her and notice that she's her white PJ bottoms and a familiar looking shirt.

"Aw man, I didn't wake you did I?"

Kicking myself, I realize that I _must've_ woken her up. Idiot.  
She laughs and shoots me with one of those picture perfect smiles.  
Thank God I'm sitting down right?

"No, don't worry, I'm not that tired.."

I laugh quietly to myself. She's a terrible liar. She puts her hands on her hips and gives me the classic 'what-are-you-laughing-about' Sarah look.

"You are such a bad liar. I could come back in the morning if you like?"

She looks disappointed for a second,

"Shut up. Just come over here and say 'Hi' properly will you??"

She smiles at me seductively, and this time, I raise my eyebrows and smile back. That tingly feeling's back again as soon as I wrap my arms around her. It feels right. Life is _very_ unfair.

She smells gorgeous.

"Hi", I whisper to her, as if it's some sort of secret.

"Much better" she says in that quiet seductive voice of hers that I haven't heard in a long time. Too Long.

I look at her and smile; I have no idea what I was so worried about. But now there's a sudden feeling of guilt in me, like something in the back of my mind is telling me that this is wrong. How can something that feels this right, be wrong?

_Look away. No. What are you doing? You shouldn't be doing this. I don't give a shit. But you should. NO. She's not available. Only technically. Yes. But then again, technically, I don't care. But you should! This is wrong! Okay, so, I take it that smile must mean its 'oh so wrong'. Shut up._

A twang of disappointment hits me inside as she lets go,

"You wanna drink?"

Ugh. Definitely need one.

"Sure, if you're having one"

I notice my shoelace had come undone again and tie it up into a double-knot this time, and make a mental note to buy shorter shoe laces… I sit back in the chair and watch her walk towards the fridge. I sigh quietly to myself and start to imagine what it'd be like working with her again. Seeing her everyday, goofing around, all those things we used to do..

She passes me a cold beer, just what I need most right now – apart from her.

"Nice one."

She sits back down opposite me,

"So, yeah, Vancouver?" She asked before opening her beer.

"Yeah, we've started filming season six and all..." I took a swig and thought about how to set the plan out. She seems interested, so I'm hoping I don't have to depend on my powers of persuasion that much. '-and Ilene wanted to know, or, well, wanted me to see if there was anyway I could get you to come"

But by the looks of it, I needed to pay more attention to my speech.. That definitely came out wrong. I'm not that much of a lightweight.

"-to be on the show again, I mean."

She laughs at me and all of a sudden I feel like that dorky teenager who is constantly trying to find the right words to say to that perfect girl.

"Figures."

I smirk at her, trying hard not to blurt out half of the things that are going through my mind.

"Smart-ass."

"You know I'd love to. But, uh, unless you've figured out a way for me to be at two places at once, I don't know how I can, you know, since I'm in the middle of filming Life and all.."

"Oh really? Hm. Well I had no idea.."

"You know what I mean.."

"Yeah, I know, but come on, you could come down for a week or something, you can't be needed on set twenty-four seven. You know you'd enjoy it. And plus, the fans would love it. They've been dying to see you come kick my- um, Shane's ass. You'd get to throw things at me again.."

I flash her a grin and she laughs, and I swear I saw her blush slightly…

"-And you don't wanna disappoint your fans now Miss Shahi do you?"

Flirting much?

"You can't say that!"

"Well. I just did."

Ha. You're definitely flirting.

"Kate. You know I miss working on the show with you guys, but I just can't find the time to travel up there and back, filmings too tight at the moment and with Ste-"

Yeuch. Suddenly, I'm not feeling too great about all of this. Why'd she have to bring him into this? I'm not a jealous person. Much. But I just don't like the guy. You know when there are just some people who you can't stand. Well, go figure.

Surely she knows that. Time didn't change how I felt for her. Why should it change what I think of him?

"I managed to find time to travel down here to see you."

I give her a look that was probably colder than I had meant it to be.

"Kate, gimme a break. Please. It's not as simple as that and you damn well know it." She says, almost trying to calm me down.

"Do I? Look, I know you've committed to 'Life' and everything but why do I get the feeling that sometimes you're-"

I hesitate; do I really want to say that?

"I'm what?!" She's now standing in front of me, demanding the end of my sentence.

"-that sometimes you're just using that as an excuse!"

"It's not as easy as that! We're not just talking about filming a few scenes. Are we?"

"We aren't?"

"No. We're talking about going back to how it was three years ago!"

I can feel my heartbeat getting faster and my ears starting to ring.

"And don't you tell me that it won't, because you know damn well that it will and-"

"And what's so wrong about that!? Huh??"

She says nothing, and I can take that two ways, either she agrees, or is just shocked at my response. Before she can reply with an answer that'll disappoint, I carry on, answering my own question.

"Oh wait, no. Yeah, I remember, your precious Steve."

That hurt. Not just her, but me. She's speechless, and unfortunately, I've seen that look before. I've hurt her. I bite my tongue and stare at the ground.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

'It's wrong Kate because I can't trust myself with you!'

'..And I hate it, cos sometimes I find myself hoping it'll never end."

It doesn't have to end.

_Sarah I..-_

I open my mouth to talk but she interrupts, "It's like I'm leading two separate lives, Kate. And no matter what I do, in the end someone will get hurt."

I don't know what to say.

"You happy now??"

I look at her and try and read her eyes,

"If you could choose-" I start, before she cuts me off,

"Don't."

She goes to turn away. I hold onto her shoulders and look into her eyes, she blinks back tears.

"No one else matters, okay? It's just you."

If only I could tell her how much I meant that. Tears run down her face as she looks down at the floor, and my heart breaks in two. I lift her head up, and wipe her tears away.

"What do YOU want?"

The seconds that pass after this feel like years. Years of looking for an answer, a solution. I know what I want. I've never been more certain.

"You."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: This update is **really short**, but I was close to falling asleep, so I thought I'd post it before trying to start the second part of it. So basically, first half of chapter 3. So...hope you like it...  
_

_Enjoy!_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Boo._**

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**SS's P.O.V**

_"You."_

She looks at me and I feel everything around us slow down. The noise from the traffic is muted; the whole room is a blur, and nothing else matters. It's just Kate and me.

Before I can think to say anything, I feel her lips come crashing onto mine. My lips tingle, as my stomach does back-flips. I'm paralyzed by her spontaneous-ness.

_Kiss her back! Kiss her back!_ Half of my mind shouts to me. But the other half's shouting back, _What the hell are you doing?!_

She quickly pulls back, and looks at my stunned face.

"Shit. I'm so sorry-" she says as she rearranges her hat, her eyes looking around the room as if to avoid my eyes. Undoubtedly fearing the worst from me.

"What are you sorry for?!" I blurt out, surprising Kate as well as myself.

She stops and looks at me confused and possibly, relieved...?

"Wha-"

I shut her up, grabbing the front of her shirt and pulling her close into me, my lips landing on hers. The intensity between us explodes to heights that I never thought possible. Just tasting her lips sends my head spinning into a whirlwind that I don't plan on getting out of anytime soon. I lose control of my body, and soon my hands are all over her, running up her back and around her smooth neck.

She responds, kissing me back hungrily, and suddenly the passion that we had left behind comes surging back into my veins, pumping itself around my body and into my heart.

We stumble back onto the bed intertwined, planting kisses on one another, not giving a damn about what the consequences may be.  
We can figure them out when we get there.

I roll myself on top of her and pull back before she tries to kiss me. I lean forward and smile at her, not giving into her pouting lips. She laughs, and attempts to entice me back by holding my hands and delicately playing with my fingers.

Have you ever held a hand that just…_fit_?

It's as if your hand was specifically moulded to be attached to their hand. Like two jigsaw pieces.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I believe it's something that can't be replaced or imitated by anyone else.You can try to find another piece like it and you may even find one that looks similar, but it doesn't fit as well. I guess- no wait, I know, that I happen to be one of the luckier people who managed to find the person their hand was made for.

And like jigsaw pieces, unless they are together they can't ever be complete.

She kisses my hand, and grins at me. I can't help but laugh and give in to her child-like smirk.

Soon a pile of clothes are hastily formed at the side of the bed, both of us eager to make up for the time lost in our own little way.

I think it's safe to say that any hope of working on a 'strictly professional' basis with Kate just flew out the window.

And you know what? Right now, I couldn't care less.


End file.
